Stop looking at the size of the problem and start seeing the size of your God. Is there anything too hard for God?
I was tweaking. I saw shadows and heard noises that shouldn't have been there. I was paranoid. I thought every object out there was trying to get to me and hurt me. I was so afraid that I could have killed myself just to escape the state of fear I was in. I wanted to feel safe but I could no longer trust anybody. I wished I could run away but I did not know who and where I could possibly turn to. I was feeling desperate and helpless. I could have just lost myself in the whirlpool of recurring hallucinations and virtual illusions. I could have stopped wanting to live. I could have given up wanting to try yet another long shot at building my life all over again. I could have DIED. But somehow I managed to find my way home..
I know I am sick. I first had IT when I was barely legal-aged. I did IT out of curiosity. A 'friend' gave IT to me and I gladly accepted IT thinking that there was no harm trying and having a little fun from the disciplined life I was having. My life spiraled downwards thereafter.
It hurts. It hurts to learn that I am no longer in control of my life, that something stronger and destructive is paving my future out in a matter of seconds. But today I realize that God is bigger than THIS. I can fight this through God.
Day 1 begins..
I was tweaking. I saw shadows and heard noises that shouldn't have been there. I was paranoid. I thought every object out there was trying to get to me and hurt me. I was so afraid that I could have killed myself just to escape the state of fear I was in. I wanted to feel safe but I could no longer trust anybody. I wished I could run away but I did not know who and where I could possibly turn to. I was feeling desperate and helpless. I could have just lost myself in the whirlpool of recurring hallucinations and virtual illusions. I could have stopped wanting to live. I could have given up wanting to try yet another long shot at building my life all over again. I could have DIED. But somehow I managed to find my way home..
I know I am sick. I first had IT when I was barely legal-aged. I did IT out of curiosity. A 'friend' gave IT to me and I gladly accepted IT thinking that there was no harm trying and having a little fun from the disciplined life I was having. My life spiraled downwards thereafter.
It hurts. It hurts to learn that I am no longer in control of my life, that something stronger and destructive is paving my future out in a matter of seconds. But today I realize that God is bigger than THIS. I can fight this through God.
Day 1 begins..
